Hard Day

I'm having a hard time today.

The last time I saw Adam was September 17th. I won't see him again until the middle of November. That's three weeks away.

October is always rough month, simply because he's so busy with the Weird Chicago tours. He's working every weekend, plenty of days, and week nights as well. Not only is October long by virtue of being a five-Monday month this year, (and having its normal 31 days), but not seeing your fiancé for so long is hard.

Thank GOD tomorrow is the last day.

It's hard because I've gone so long without seeing him, and to think I have so much more longer to go... *sigh*

It's hard not to get angry at TIME, as it creeps by during the work day/work week, and it crawls when I'm waiting to see Adam... and then when the weekend FINALLY gets here, the time speeds up and flashes by. The weekend, or week, or whatever, is gone in a flash, and it's back to the waiting. Always with the waiting.

This won't be the longest I've gone without seeing him. Earlier this year, I went from not seeing him from February 18th to May 2nd. That doesn't make it any easier, though. And it makes planning for the wedding way more challenging than it already is.

The goodbyes are getting old. The tears in the airport. It's getting harder and harder to tolerate them now, and there are still several months of this ahead. It's hard not to get jealous of the couples who get to be together all the time. It's hard not to be angry at circumstances, at life, at the restrictions which are keeping me here.

This long distance stuff...I am SO OVER it. :(