I forwarded the article to Adam and it opened up a nice dialogue of some of our expectations, habits, compromises we'll have to make, etc. It was good. We found that we're pretty much in alignment with everything.
If I haven't learned anything else from before, I did learn that communication is SO very important. Sure, people say that all the time, but it's really true. The thing is, I'm very non-confrontational. If someone does something and I get upset by it, I find it hard to go to the person and say "Hey, it really bugged me when you did blah blah blah." But I've found that when I suck it up and say something, a few things happen.
1. He gets a chance to explain what he meant or why he said it or whatever.I'm not carrying around this hidden resentment and bitterness, everything is cleared up, and we can move on. In the past, I used to hold stuff in, let it fester, and then something small would push me over the edge and I would shut down. I am terrible with The Silent Treatment. It is so much easier (at least, right away) to shut down and stew. But these days, I force myself out of my comfort zone and actually TALK about whatever is bothering me. It's so much better for both of us this way. And in the long run, a lot easier than letting stuff build up.
2. I get to realize that it probably wasn't as bad as I thought it was.
3. The air is cleared.
The article talks about "plans," and he outlines the basics for starting a conversation about 1-, 3-, 6-, and 9-year plans. Those things cover meatier topics, but I think we can manage it. :) I *LIKE* to talk about relationship-related stuff. And wedding stuff. And romantic stuff.
'Til next time!