A Year From Tonight...

I wonder what I'll be doing? How I'll be feeling?

Hard Day

I'm having a hard time today.

The last time I saw Adam was September 17th. I won't see him again until the middle of November. That's three weeks away.

October is always rough month, simply because he's so busy with the Weird Chicago tours. He's working every weekend, plenty of days, and week nights as well. Not only is October long by virtue of being a five-Monday month this year, (and having its normal 31 days), but not seeing your fiancé for so long is hard.

Thank GOD tomorrow is the last day.

It's hard because I've gone so long without seeing him, and to think I have so much more longer to go... *sigh*

It's hard not to get angry at TIME, as it creeps by during the work day/work week, and it crawls when I'm waiting to see Adam... and then when the weekend FINALLY gets here, the time speeds up and flashes by. The weekend, or week, or whatever, is gone in a flash, and it's back to the waiting. Always with the waiting.

This won't be the longest I've gone without seeing him. Earlier this year, I went from not seeing him from February 18th to May 2nd. That doesn't make it any easier, though. And it makes planning for the wedding way more challenging than it already is.

The goodbyes are getting old. The tears in the airport. It's getting harder and harder to tolerate them now, and there are still several months of this ahead. It's hard not to get jealous of the couples who get to be together all the time. It's hard not to be angry at circumstances, at life, at the restrictions which are keeping me here.

This long distance stuff...I am SO OVER it. :(

How Are The Plans Going?

Today at work, Janet asked me how the plans were going. I sat there and realized I hadn't done a concrete thing for the wedding since we booked the place. I went to The Knot and went to the checklist. I checked off a lot of things, but the list says I have 172 more to go.

Eeek, much?

Granted, it's still just over a year away and I have PLENTY of time, but it's hard not to see such a huge number of things to do and not panic. Plus, we need to find a photographer after all (for the more formal and traditional shots), and there are LOTS and LOTS to choose from in Chicago. That's a little bit lot overwhelming!

This is what I am tempted to do for the boquets: Head over to the grocery store the day of the ceremony and pick up some of the flowers there. My first choice is an orange gerbera daisy, but man, the thought of dealing with all this stuff is kind of making me hyperventilate.

I got a few sample invitations in the mail. Thank God places let you see samples. The really inexpensive ones from Ann's Bridal Bargains aren't that great, and the Mickey Mouse ones are too big. I REALLY like these:

Of course, they're from my favorite place, Invitations By Dawn. The color I really like is called Tuscan Sun, and it's the orangy-looking one on the right, behind the light green ones. I can get 50 for $102.80, and 50 response folders (with envelopes) for $55.50. I don't think that's too unreasonable, especially for an invitation I really like, but I can't help but wonder if there aren't some that are less expensive. I mean, it's so simple, after all. But there's just something about the color—it's perfect.

We'e been getting requests to register. I think we're going to hit our first store next month, when we're together for Thanksgiving. We could register online, but then we wouldn't get the little gun. Adam really wants to use the little gun.

So, I'm trying not to freak out too much here. After all, I do have more than a year for everything to fall into place. No need to stress. Right?

Talking Marriage

Today, I stumbled across an article titled Ten Things to Consider Before Getting Married. Lots of food for thought.

I forwarded the article to Adam and it opened up a nice dialogue of some of our expectations, habits, compromises we'll have to make, etc. It was good. We found that we're pretty much in alignment with everything.

If I haven't learned anything else from before, I did learn that communication is SO very important. Sure, people say that all the time, but it's really true. The thing is, I'm very non-confrontational. If someone does something and I get upset by it, I find it hard to go to the person and say "Hey, it really bugged me when you did blah blah blah." But I've found that when I suck it up and say something, a few things happen.

1. He gets a chance to explain what he meant or why he said it or whatever.
2. I get to realize that it probably wasn't as bad as I thought it was.
3. The air is cleared.

I'm not carrying around this hidden resentment and bitterness, everything is cleared up, and we can move on. In the past, I used to hold stuff in, let it fester, and then something small would push me over the edge and I would shut down. I am terrible with The Silent Treatment. It is so much easier (at least, right away) to shut down and stew. But these days, I force myself out of my comfort zone and actually TALK about whatever is bothering me. It's so much better for both of us this way. And in the long run, a lot easier than letting stuff build up.

The article talks about "plans," and he outlines the basics for starting a conversation about 1-, 3-, 6-, and 9-year plans. Those things cover meatier topics, but I think we can manage it. :) I *LIKE* to talk about relationship-related stuff. And wedding stuff. And romantic stuff.

'Til next time!

More Registry

I'm in San Francisco, and I'm totally wired. It's almost 5am Ohio time, but I had a Red Bull and tea today, plus a late dinner, then I got to play Scattergories and watch the "wild ass" DVD, so I'm finding it hard to fall alseep.

Instead, I've been thinking about Adam and me, and how we're going to create our living space. I know that he thinks about getting a new place from time to time, which would be cool. Either way, we'll be making a new home for both of us, no matter where it is, and we can register for things that can help us do so.

A few more things I thought to register for (or ideas I got from friends) include:

- luggage
- photo frames
- 1000 thread count sheets

And then I just thought of maybe a big rug for the living room. Something that wouldn't completely cover the hardwood floors, but would be nice to have. Oh, and a welcome mat of some sort is NEEDED for the winter. So, adding those things to the list:

- cool big rug
- welcome mat

And, and!

- Mickey Mouse appliances!

Not sure how Adam would feel about a Mickey Mouse waffle maker, but I'll never buy one for myself, so why not? I already have the toaster!

Oh, and maybe a portable DVD player. On the long flight here, I was thinking of how much I'd have loved to have one. And potholders and kitchen towels, and maybe some new cooking utensils!

Rosa said to register for things we want but would never buy ourselves. And I started thinking of other possible stores, such as Pottery Barn and Linens N Things. She also told me that is is okay to register early because people might want to get us stuff already. I'd have it all shipped to Chicago. I kind of want to wait until I'm moved in, though. I want us to get the gifts together, if people decide to buy us stuff.

Registry

When Adam and I first got engaged, he asked if we should register. I told him that we should wait until a few months before the wedding because the inventory changes so much at stores.

Adam is a true bachelor. He has two towels. TWO TOWELS. Maybe a few more, but I've never seem 'em. I told him that towels is definitely going on the registry.

Here are the things we definitely plan to register for:

towels
cookware (funky colors like orange and Brady Bunch green)
sheet sets
comforter

Between the two of us, we have plenty of dishes, silverware, and stuff like that. I live alone, and he has a lot of stuff, too. So we don't need too much. I don't think.

I want to register at:

Bed, Bath & Beyond
Target

What other things should we register for? Maybe a fancy coffee maker? A Kitchen-Aid stand mixer? Stores? Crate & Barrel? I need some ideas!